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8 Christmas Monsters You’ve Never Heard Of

Santa isn’t the only one you should be worried about when you’re bad. GMM #1048!
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Executive Producer: Stevie Wynne Levine
Writer/Producer: Edward Coleman
Writer/Producer: Lizzie Bassett
Writer/Producer: Kevin Kostelnik
Writer/Producer: Micah Gordon
Writer/Producer: Ellie McElvain
Associate Producer: Chase Hilt
Technical Director/Graphics/Editor: Morgan Locke
Editor: Casey Nimmer
Additional Graphics/Editing: Matthew Dwyer
Art Director: Colin J. Morris
Production Coordinator: Alexander Punch
Production Assistant: Mike Criscimagna
Content Manager: John Warder
Set Construction/Dresser: Cassie Cobb
Intro Motion Graphics: Digital Twigs
Intro Music: Pomplamoose
Outro Music: Pomplamoose
Wheel of Mythicality Music:
All Supplemental Music: Opus 1 Music |
Microphone: ‘The Mouse’ by Blue Microphones

Video transcription:

The nightmare ain't before Christmas,
it is Christmas.Let's talk about that.(intro music)Good Mythical Morning.Ah, Christmas, it's that magical time
of year, where some rotund dudein red pajamas, flies around the world,
breaking and entering,kissing mammas, and eating
all your cookies.- Woah!
– Listen, Santa, when viewedin the proper light, can be seen
as a terrifying individual.- I see that.
– But he's got nothing on these monstersof Christmas folk lore, that I'm going
to test your knowledge of today, Rhett.It's time for,- (creepy bell music)
– (Link) Scary Christmas to all,(Link) and to all a good fright.That's right, Rhett.
Turns out, there are monsters associated- with Christmas around the World–
– Heard about these.And throughout time–
Oh you have, had you?I've heard about them in general,
but I don't know about any–Besides Krampus, there's a movie
about Krampus. Didn't see it.- Scared of it.
– Maybe you know some stuff.It's a fill in the blanks.
There is no prize,because Christmas is not about winning,
it's about trying to escape punishment.- Oh really?
– Yeah, and you're going to be trying–You're going to be running
hither and tither to escape punishment,because for every blank that you do not
fill in correctly, you are goingto receive a Christmas punishment,
which will be revealed in due time.Are you ready?I'm a little nervous all of a sudden.In the twelve days leading up to Christmas,
the German witch, Frau Perchtarewards the generous and punishes
the naughty by ripping out their insides,and replacing them with, blank.- Frau Perchta.
– Perchta.Haven't heard of him.- (crew laughs)
– Her.- Haven't heard of her.
– Female witch.German. Okay.So some German things that you could
stuff people with.Sausage?But sausage is already stuffed
with something, which is weird,and maybe the reason that she
would do it.You're on the right track, Rhett.But I like to think of–
It seems like kind of like a sawdust,like make them into a doll.So I'm going to go with sawdust.Knowing that I'm probably wrong.The correct answer is garbage,
but, I'm going to give it to you,because, in some places
they do use sawdust.- So–
– Yeah, that's the places I was talking about.And sawdust is kind of like wood garbage?- Yeah. Exactly.
– You should know that, right?And, don't worry, that's just
if you're bad.If you're good, they rip out your insides,
and stuff you with taffy.- Oh!
– You're still dead, but, taffy!That's exciting.Not really, I just made that up,
'cause I like to say, "Taffy."- I like to scare the naughty kids.
– Who doesn't?In Pennsylvania Dutch, in German
folk lore, Belsnickel goes door-to-doorwearing rags and fur,
asking kids to recite poemsand solve math problems.It's an opportunity to test
their knowledge.Then, he throws candy on the floor,
and if any of the kids dive for the sweets,he hits them with a, blank.Math problems and poems.Don't go for the candy, kids.Sounds like my sixth grade teacher,
Ms. Hobbs.- Hmm.
– She was a tough– She was tough.She was scary.
She was very Belsnickel-ish.Yeah, she was.
She loved poetry and math too.And she loved hitting kids in the head
with a shovel.(all laugh)- That's the answer.
– No she didn't. For the record, she didn't.- No, she didn't.
– But your answer is shovel?Yeah. (shouts) Boom!
That's what you got–You really want to take them out.
Shovel.- (buzzer sound)
– No, it is switch.- Oh.
– You know, like, just pull a switch?- Yeah.
– 'Cause, you know.And, you know what?
We have Belsnickel here with us today.Oh, no you don't.- Let's welcome him out here.
– Oh, wow.- There he is.
– He looks so Dutch.- Well, he's Pennsylvania Dutch.
– Look at that switch he's got.- (crew laughs)
– You see those switches Belsnickel has?- Oh gosh.
– You're gonna be switchedevery time you get one wrong.
Starting with the one you just got wrong.- Right now?
– No, you're gonna amass them.We'll keep count, Belsnick.- Old Belsnick.
– And, at the end, Rhett,you're gonna get walloped
a whole bunch.Okay.Jólakötturinn, the evil Icelandic
Christmas cat,will eat lazy childrenunless they are wearing one blank
piece of clothing.One blank piece of clothing.
A Christmas cat.- What would repel cats?
– Hmm.Cat repellent piece of clothing
doesn't seem like a goodChristmas tradition.Like coyote urine piece of clothing.- I didn't make the blank that long.
– No, you didn't.It's probably a color.
I'm going to go with red,because we're talking Christmas time,
so I'm just going to say red.This is a tough one.
The answer is new.- (buzzer sound)
– What?You got to wear new clothes.
So you gotta get yourself- a gift before Christmas.
– What about kids who can'tget new clothes, man?You got that cat coming after them
every which way.Yeah, they get eaten by the cat.And now you know why every lazy
Icelandic person carries a laser pointer.I don't get it.
– (crew laughs)- You ever seen a cat with a laser pointer?
– NopeThey go crazy over it, man.- Oh! A cat with a laser pointer, got it.
– They go crazy.A cat looking at a laser pointer.
Now I know what you mean.According to French legend, Père Fouettard
was an evil butcher,who killed three children and threw them
in a barrel full of blank.But, Saint Nicholas showed up
and brought them back to life.- Oh, good for him.
– Yup. He can do that.We need more Christmas traditions
like this, where kids are throwninto barrels, and eaten by cats,
and stuffed with sawdust.Kids got it too easy now.Bring back the darkness.Sugar plums dancing in their head,
is that what it is?(Link) Yeah.They need to choke on a sugar plum.What would an evil butcher have?I– I mean–A barrel full of what?A barrel of fish, barrel of monkeys,
no.- A butcher.
– Barrel of salt.He'd have a barrel of salt, right,
'cause you got to salt the meat.- Barrel of salt.
– (shouts) Good one, Rhett! You got it.- (ding sound)
– Yeah!- It's a brine solution.
– Yes- You salt the meat, so it cures.
– Yeah.Keep the kids nice and fresh.Right, there is a good lesson here,
always brine your humanbefore you eat it. Otherwise it tastes
(silly voice) horrible.- Especially children human.
– Well, it gets dry.They taste so nasty,
unless you've brined them.You want to get the moisture back in.But if you brine them, man
(exhales).- Like fried chicken.
– Those naughty children taste great.If you're a naughty child, that Krampus,
the anti-Santa, comes to visit.Beware his sack.He might throw you in it,
and blank you, blank you,or transport you to blank.- (laughs)
– Why I gotta fill three blanks, man?Well, because you're going to get switched
three times in this question.I mean, there's so many things
that can happen in a man's sack.- (crew laughs)
– For me to narrow it down to one thing.Don't narrow it down,
get them all three right.In order to not be switched
by Belsnickel.I didn't see the movie.
Like I said, I didn't see the movie.Beat you, eat you,
or transport you to hell.- Okay, it's drown you.
– (buzzer sound)- Okay.
– So that's one switch.- Eat you.
– (ding sound)- Hey!
– You got that one correct.- And take you to the underworld.
– (ding sound)- (shouts) Hey! Nice!
– So two out of three ain't bad.But you still going to get that switch.Incidentally, this is also the plot
of my Christmas themedStranger Things spin-off:
Manger Things.- (crew laughs)
– I'm working on that.Oh!Got to cast lots of kids.
Lots of naughty kids,- to be in Manger Things.
– Yeah. Okay.- And animals.
– You do that. Again, solo project.Gotta build a manger too.Iceland's children are haunted
for thirteen days straight- by mountain trolls named, The Yule lads.
– Oh yeah.- You know those Yule Lads.
– Yeah.They also rap, I think.
They're rappers.No they're not.
Young kids– I don't know.- I'm just making that part up.
– Okay, that part's made up.Kids leave their shoes out by the window,
and if they've been good,they receive candy and presents.If they're bad, The Yule Lads
will leave them a rotten blank.- The Yule Lads.
– The Yule Lads.(makes puckering sounds)- The Yule Lads. Well–
– Yule Lads in the house.I'm assuming that The Yule Lads
are not real,'cause if this was real trolls the kinds
of rotten things that they would bring,there's no limit.
But this is the kind of thingthat a parent has to have access to.- Right, right, right.
– Something a parent can scrounge up,and make rotten.And make them–
to teach them a lesson not to be naughty.So I'm going to say egg.
I'm going with egg.- Rotten eggs. In the shoes.
– Leave them a rotten egg.- You're close, Rhett. Rotten potatoes.
– (buzzer sound)- Oh, come on. What?
– I wish I could give it to you,but a rotten potato has nothing to do
with a rotten egg.I'm searching for a way not to switch you.Put them in the shoes?- Yeah, man.
– They got big feet over there in Iceland.- Or small potatoes.
– Rotten potatoes.- One or two, I don't know.
– (crew laughs)That's where Tater Faced Boy came from.Iceland. I already knew that.Okay, the Scandinavian Tomte, might look
like an adorable little garden gnome,but, if you don't leave butter porridge
out for him on Christmas eve,he'll beat the crap out you,
or kill one of your cows.- Why? What?
– How sweet.Watch out, his blanks are poisonous.- He's got poisonous blanks.
– He's got poisonous blanks.Well, if he's a lactose intolerant
little gnome,- maybe he's got poisonous farts.
– (crew laughs)- I don't know, it's harmless.
– That's not right.- Really?
– I don't want to switch youany more than I have to, Rhett.I mean, what can a gnome have
that's poisonous?- Shoes?
– (crew laughs)Hat. Hat, his hat.It is pointy.- His hat is poisonous, like a spear.
– Poisonous tipped.- No, it's bites.
– (buzzer sound)- They bite. (makes gnawing sounds)
– (laughs)- Okay.
– It's just bites. I'm sorry.They can kill a cow
with those poisonous bites.The Kallikantzaros are malevolent
Greek goblins,who terrorize humans in the twelve days
before Christmas.One effective way to keep him out
of your house,is to throw your foul smelling blank
in the fire.This is clearly a tradition
that was implemented to help peopleclean out something that was old
and stinky, and they were like,"Let's come up with a cool tradition."What are you trying to get rid of
that are foul smelling?- Old and stinky.
– Throw them in a fire.Socks. It's got to be socks.
What else could it be?- Oh, so close, it's the shoes.
– (buzzer sound)- Stinky shoes.
– Really?- Yes.
– You got to put some Odor Eaters- in those things.
– That's what keeps the goblins away.Or just lock your door.
I don't know.I didn't do too well,
I'm going to get punished, by Belsnickel.He is. Stay tuned,
Belsnickel come on in here.Do some intimidating dance,
and get ready to switch him.But not yet.Thank you for liking, commenting,
and subscribing.You know what time it is.- I'm Sophie.
– And I'm Megan.(both) And this is Hank.
And we're from Lincoln Park, Michigan.(both) It's time to spin the
Wheel of Mythicality.There's only a couple of days left in
the Mythical Christmas Face challenge.Link is in the description
to all the information you need,but you got two days to get your crazy
Christmas face in.And click through to Good Mythical More
where Rhett's gonna get switched- a bunch.
– Gift!- (fanfare music)
– (Rhett) Congratulations to Jacob Hann.You win some Mythical pomade right here,
make your hair look like us.- Or look like our hairs.
– Anything you want it to look like.- Anything.
– It gives you the ability to moldand sculpt your hair into
your wildest desires.[Captioned by Jack
GMM Captioning Team]


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